Scarface: Harry's Sixth Year
by Agent of Satan
Summary: Harry reflects and ends up considering suicide.
1. Morning

Scarface- Harry's Sixth Year  
  
Chapter One- Morning  
  
Disclaimer- I do not own Harry Potter. He and his world belong exclusively to J.K. Rowling, as does this prophecy

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_The one with the power to vanquish the Dark Lord approaches.... Born to those who have thrice defied him, born as the seventh month dies...and the Dark Lord will mark him as his equal, but he will have power the Dark Lord knows not...and either must die at the hand of the other for neither can live while the other survives.... The one with the power to vanquish the Dark Lord will be born as the seventh month dies...._  
  
Light came streaming in through Harry's bedroom window and across his face, waking him up. It was another morning, another hot summer day at the Dursleys' house. His days were basically the same. He would wake up, get dressed and eat breakfast. Then he would try to find something to do until lunch. Then eat dinner. Then go to sleep. Once in a while he would get mail from Ron and Hermione. They had neither good nor interesting things to say. He never wrote back. Why bother? If they really cared about him, somebody would have done something by now.  
  
He thought in most of his free time. He let his mind wonder what his life would be like if he was a more normal wizard, like Seamus or the like. Did he ever worry about Voldemort or Death Eaters coming to attack him or kill him? Perhaps being a Muggle-born like Hermione would be good. Then your family would not even know about Voldemort. But if you were a Muggle-born, then you were a target for Voldemort. How much did the Grangers know about the wizarding world? Was there such a thing as a normal wizard?  
  
Actually, Harry was not upset about being at the Dursleys' this summer. They always ignored him, which he was fine with, but that was not the only reason why he was there. He did not want contact with the wizarding world. He was tired of everyone's crap. Everyone was always asking him questions and other junk that he didn't ask for. He was even tired of his friends. They were almost afraid to talk to him after what happened. They always seemed scared, like he was about to slit their throats it they talked to him.  
  
Harry simply wanted to be alone. Why couldn't anyone understand that? Was it that hard to understand? He rolled out of bed to begin his new day. First things first, he washed his face. He abruptly stopped when he caught a glimpse of his scar, his curse. He studied it closely, something that he had never done before. He had always just accepted it as part of his appearance. Now, he hated it. It was a sign of his past, a past that he wanted to forget and have no part of. It reminded him of Voldemort and all of the people that he had killed, especially his parents. But now it reminded him of someone else, his dead godfather Sirius Black, the closest thing that he had ever had to a parent.  
  
It was in that brief moment that Harry realized the truth. It was his own fault that his family was dead. Voldemort had triggered him, not his parents. If it weren't for him, his parents would still be alive. And if Harry wouldn't have believed his stupid dreams last year, Sirius would not have been murdered either.  
  
Harry hated Voldemort, but most of all, he hated himself. He hated the scar on his head. He might as well have just killed those people himself. It was his fault that they were dead anyway.  
  
The words of the Prophecy Dumbledore had shared with him reverberated in his head. He didn't ask for this. He didn't want it, and he shouldn't have to deal with this if he didn't want to. How could they expect so much out of him? He didn't have any special power. He couldn't destroy a dark lord. He wished that he had never found out about the wizarding world. Why couldn't he just be a Muggle like everyone else?  
  
There only seemed to be one way out: suicide. He wanted to end his life, and he wanted to end it right here, right now. He reached for a bottle of pills under the sink.

**Author's Note: Okay, I know that the chapter is short, but they will get longer. Please review only if you have good things to say. Just kidding. I value everyone's opinion. I only ask that you please be gentle because this is my first fanfic.**


	2. Saved

**Chapter Two- Saved  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own HP.  
  
Author's Note: I came up with several alternate beginnings to this chapter. None of them were to my liking, so we're all stuck with this one.

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**  
"HARRY! WHAT DO YOU THINK YOU ARE DOING!?" Molly Weasley screamed after appearing out of nowhere.  
  
"Of course, Dumbledore sent people to spy on me all summer," Harry thought to himself. He thought it was quite obvious what he was doing, but apparently Mrs. Weasley didn't think so. He knew it was pointless to argue with her, so he just decided to listen to her.  
  
"You're coming with me right now back to headquarters," Molly insisted.  
  
An angry Uncle Vernon burst into Harry's room. "WHAT IN THE WORLD IS ALL OF THIS RACKET?!" He caught sight of Mrs. Weasley. "WHO ARE YOU, AND WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE?" he demanded.  
  
Before she could answer he kept on, "Wait a minute. I've seen you at the train station for that... that... freak school."  
  
"I've come to take Harry with me," she calmly informed Mr. Dursley, "and I'd appreciate it if you weren't in the way."  
  
"Fine, take the boy. I have no use for him," spat Mr. Dursley as he stormed out.  
  
"We'll be traveling by Floo powder, dear," Mrs. Weasley said lovingly.  
  
"No," Harry stated simply, "I don't want to go back. Ever."  
  
"Harry dear, I know that you're upset, but you can't stay here."  
  
"Why not? What's the point of going back anyway?"  
  
"Oh Harry, I know it hurts, but you can't hide from it." She drew Harry into a motherly hug and kissed him on the forehead.  
  
Although he wanted to resist, Harry felt relieved. He knew that Mrs. Weasley was right. Emotion overcame him. He hugged her back and considered sobbing hysterically onto her shoulder, but decided against it.  
  
Harry gathered his things and walked down to the fireplace. The room was deserted. He suspected that Vernon knew that they were going to travel by fireplace and had hid them all so that they wouldn't know about it. Molly grabbed the small pouch of Floo powder from inside of her robes and threw them into the fire.  
  
"You first Harry."  
  
He climbed into the fireplace to go back to Grimmauld Place.  
  
Soon he climbed out of the fireplace on the other side followed by Mrs. Weasley. The first person he saw was the last person he wanted to see.  
  
"Ah Harry, you're here earlier than I had anticipated, but it's all for the best," Dumbledore said smiling gently to Harry, who simply stared back at him emotionless and speechless.  
  
"Albus, we need to talk," Molly said interrupting the long silence between the two. Harry knew that she was going to tell Dumbledore about his suicide attempt, which would only tighten the security on him everywhere he went, but he didn't give a shit anymore. Then appeared two more faces he didn't feel like seeing, Ron and Hermione. He began to walk away, but Ron obviously didn't take the hint.  
  
"Harry, why didn't you answer my letters, mate?" he said, completely oblivious to the face that Harry didn't want to talk.  
  
Hermione elbowed Ron. "Ron I don't think Harry wants to talk right now," she said in a loud whisper. "Harry, you don't have to talk to us or to anyone if you don't want to. I just want you to know that we're here for you and you can talk to us about anything when you are ready.  
  
"Thanks Hermione," Harry said dully. He sounded ungrateful, but he was actually glad that someone didn't want to overwhelm him with talk. To make up for it he added, "I'm going up to my room. You can come if you want to." He dragged his belongings into the direction of his room.  
  
"Sure mate we'll help you unpack," said Ron.  
  
Harry opened his mouth to protest, but realized that Ron was only trying to help, so he closed his mouth again. In his room, the three friends sat in an awkward silence while they unpacked Harry's trunk. Harry didn't really have any desire to break the silence, but decided that he should.  
  
"So when is lunch? I'm starved, since I didn't have breakfast."  
  
In answer to his question, Mrs. Weasley's voice rang through the house. "Lunchtime!"  
  
Few people were in the dining room. Most of them were either at work or on Order business. Dumbledore looked at Harry concerned. "Harry, we need to talk after lunch." Harry nodded to acknowledge him. He knew what was coming. He was going tell him the same things Mrs. Weasley was trying to tell him. He ate the rest of his lunch in silence. Afterwards, Dumbledore took him to another room so that they would be alone.  
  
"Harry I'm very concerned about you after what Molly has told me. I knew that you were unhappy, but I had no idea that you would try something like this. Don't you remember the prophecy? You must defeat Lord Voldemort. I have no choice but to put you under constant surveillance effective immediately. I feel that this is a necessary security measure, and Molly does not disagree with me. It is for your own safety."  
  
"So I was right," Harry thought to himself. "Well it's fine with me." He looked at Dumbledore gravely and walked out of the door. Dumbledore didn't stop him.  
  
Ron and Hermione were standing outside with Mrs. Weasley waiting for him. He had no doubt that Mrs. Weasley was telling them to keep a close eye on him. Now he would never be alone. He wondered if she had told them about what he had tried to do. He certainly didn't want them to know. They would both overreact and watch him all the time.  
  
"What was that about Harry?" Ron asked curiously. Hermione gave Ron a look that said clearly not to ask. Harry didn't respond.  
  
"Come on. Let's go finish unpacking."  
  
They went back to Harry's room. Knowing that Harry wouldn't want to talk, but deciding that someone should, Ron talked about the Chudley Cannons and their latest successes. Listening to Ron (or anyone for that matter) talk about something normal, such as Quidditch, rather than the depressing events that has taken place just a few weeks ago put Harry at ease. He began the long road to recovery after being saved.

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**Author's Note: Special thank-you to Lazy-anji, my first (and possibly only) reviewer. I'm going to Florida for a couple of days, but I promise a longer chapter when I return. Please review. May I get at least five? Also, I'm very bad about keeping promises, so I wouldn't trust me.**


	3. Surprises

**Chapter Three- Surprises  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own HP.  
  
Author's Note: Much more upbeat chapter.**

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The next morning, Harry woke up late and walked down to the dining room to breakfast, only to receive a great surprise.  
  
"HAPPY BIRTHDAY, HARRY!" the entire room shouted.  
  
With all of the events that had transpired that month, Harry had completely forgotten about his sixteenth birthday and was completely taken by surprise. He wasn't even sure whether to be happy, embarrassed or angry. Instead of doing any of these things, he just looked around at everyone dumbfounded. A great banner unfurled from the ceiling with the words "HAPPY SIXTEEN, HARRY!" written on it flashing in different colors.  
  
After the cheering had subsided and Harry was thoroughly red in the face, he took his place at the table, which was filled with any and every delicious delicacy one could think of, beating even the spectacular feasts served at Hogwarts. He sat in between Ron and Hermione, who were just grinning at him like maniacs. He just glared at them, even though he was feeling quite good at the moment.  
  
He had never had a birthday party of any kind before, much less a surprise one. There weren't an extraordinary amount of people there. His classmates couldn't come because they didn't know about the Order. But it was still a birthday party all the same.  
  
After the extravagant feast, which included five courses, ending with a ten- layer chocolate birthday cake, which actually sang the birthday song, it was time for gift giving.  
  
First Mrs. Weasley presented him with his regular gift that she gave him for Christmas, a hand knitted sweater and home made cakes and other goodies. Next came Fred (George was at their shop), who gave him a rather hefty gift certificate to their joke shop. Remus Lupin gave him a large book of advanced defense spells. Hagrid was there too. He walked up to Harry and gave him a gigantic hug and picked him up. Harry was rather nervous to open his present, so he did so with caution. Harry was surprised to find a toad inside the box. However, as it was Hagrid, it was not simply a harmless toad.  
  
"It's a special kind of toad, see. It attacks intruders. It spits dangerous poison in their eyes and bites them." Explained Hagrid.  
  
"Oh... How very... interesting. Thanks Hagrid." Harry said wondering what else it would attack.  
  
Ginny gave Harry a Snitch and a new jar of broomstick polish. "Now that Umbridge is gone, I suppose I'll have to let you be Seeker again. I want to see you practicing hard to make up for not getting to practice last year," she added.  
  
"Thanks, I definitely will." Harry replied.  
  
Last came Ron and Hermione's gifts. Hermione got him a new quill that automatically refilled itself and a gift certificate to Flourish and Blotts.  
  
"I would have gotten your school books, but I didn't know what classes you would be in," she explained.  
  
"Typical Hermione," Harry thought. "Oh well at least she didn't get me a homework planner this time."  
  
Ron gave him a chessboard and a book on chess strategy.  
  
"I'm tired of me beating you all the time, mate. You should read that so I can actually be challenged," Ron said.  
  
"Thanks a lot Ron. I'll make sure to kick your ass really soon," Harry responded.  
  
After Harry finished opening gifts, people began cleaning up and wandering away. An owl flew in, dropping letters each on Harry, Hermione, Ron and Ginny's heads.  
  
"Oh, good! Our OWL results have arrived!" Hermione exclaimed. She instantly ripped opened her letter, while Ron and Harry did very reluctantly.  
  
Harry and Ron quickly read their own results before simultaneously switching letters to read each other's.  
  
Harry's read:  
  
Charms- Exceeds Expectations

Defense Against the Dark Arts- Outstanding T

ransfiguration- Exceeds Expectations

Potions- Acceptable

Care of Magical Creatures- Exceeds Expectations

Divination- Dreadful

Herbology- Exceeds Expectations

Astronomy- Poor

History of Magic- Poor  
  
Harry frowned. It wasn't his fault that he had failed the last two on the list. It wasn't his fault that Hagrid was being taken away during Astronomy and a Dark Lord was cracking into his brain during History of Magic.  
  
"Wow Harry! Five above "Acceptable!" I only got three! Mum's going to kill me!" Ron stated in a panic.  
  
Hermione had, naturally, gotten an "Outstanding" in everything. She looked quite pleased with herself. "Congratulations, Harry!" Hermione said modestly.  
  
"Oh, I suppose they invented a new grade for you," Ron said. "From now on, you can get above "Outstanding." It's called "Hermione."  
  
"Shut up, Ron!" said Hermione.  
  
Harry looked at the rest of the papers in his letter. One was a book list. He had books for his six NEWT classes. Wait... six. This isn't right.  
  
"Why am I in NEWT Potions? I only got an "Acceptable" in it." Harry inquired out loud.  
  
"It's a mistake." Said Ron simply.  
  
"Hogwarts doesn't make mistakes Ron. Why are you upset anyway Harry? Don't complain. You do want to be an Auror, don't you?" said Hermione.  
  
"Of course I do! But Snape will know that I'm not even supposed to be in his class, which will make him hate me even more." Harry said.  
  
"Oh relax Harry, Just be glad that you got into six NEWT classes. That's quite impressive!" said Hermione.  
  
"Yeah. At least I don't have to put up with Trelawney anymore. I might actually go a whole year without someone predicting my death." Said Harry sarcastically.  
  
"That's the spirit Harry," said Ron. "I won't have her either, but I somehow managed to get 'Exceeds Expectations' in Potions though, so I'll be there to put up with Snape with you. I also have Care of Magical Creatures and Defense Against the Dark Arts. Oh well. At least I didn't do worse than Fred and George. I just tied them."  
  
"Oh, it's fine Ron." Said Hermione exasperatedly. "I'm sure your mother won't be as upset as you think she will be."  
  
"And I'm sure that she will," said Ron.  
  
"Let's just drop this you two," said Harry. "Look, I've got another letter in my packet."  
  
He opened it up. It read:  
  
Dear Mr. Potter,  
  
I am pleased to inform you that you have been chosen to be the new team captain for the Gryffindor house Quidditch team. Please note that tryouts for your team will be held on the second Saturday of the upcoming school year.  
  
Congratulations,  
Minerva McGonagall, Deputy Headmistress

"Wow Harry! That's fantastic, it really is! Congratulations!" exclaimed Hermione. "I know that you'll be great."  
  
Ron looked rather put out. Harry thought of the time Ron had seem himself as Quidditch captain in the Mirror of Erised. However, Ron was determined to be happy for his friend.  
  
"Good job mate." he offered. "I can't wait until the new season starts."  
  
"Well, well, well. What's going on here? Did your NEWT grades come in?" inquired Mrs. Weasley.  
  
"Yes Mrs. Weasley," Hermione answered. "We've also received our booklists and Harry has been named Quidditch captain."  
  
"He has!" said Mrs. Weasley. "Congratulations!" said while hugging him. "I'm sure that you will be excellent. "Ginny has been named a prefect. This is a cause for celebration and another feast! I'll start preparing dinner now." She walked away happily.  
  
Fred walked in just then. "Ah, NEWTs, I presume?" He stole Ron's grades. "Three OWLs? Excellent! Taking after George and I, are we? Though I must say, I expected more from a prefect!"  
  
"Go fuck yourself, Fred," interjected Ron.  
  
"With pleasure," retorted Fred as he walked away. "By the way," he added, "I'm headed off to Diagon Alley to go back to the shop. Would you like to come?"  
  
"Of course," Hermione said before the other two could answer. "I need to get all of my schoolbooks so I can memorize them all by the time school starts. Let's go guys. We can Floo."  
  
"Umm...okay," they said. They didn't have too much of a choice now. They went upstairs to get their money.  
  
While walking to his room, Harry bumped into Ginny.  
  
"Oops, sorry," he said.  
  
"That's alright."  
  
"Congratulations on making prefect."  
  
"Thanks very much. Congratulations on being Quidditch captain. When are tryouts?"  
  
"Second Saturday after school starts. I expect you to be there."  
  
"I will."  
  
"Hey, we're going to Diagon Alley to get our school stuff. Want to come?"  
  
"Sure. I'll be down in a minute."

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When they all got to Diagon Alley, Hermione frantically ran for Flourish and Blotts to buy books.  
  
"Oh great. I suppose I should follow her to make sure she doesn't hurt herself trying to carry all those books. Let's meet at the ice cream parlor in two hours, then we can decide what to do from there," Ron suggested.  
  
"Good idea," Harry agreed. He was left with Ginny.  
  
"Where shall we go first?" Harry asked Ginny.  
  
"I need some more potion ingredients. Let's head for the Apothecary."  
  
Harry and Ginny walked around together and got all of their school supplies until they were to meet Ron and Hermione. Then they headed for the ice cream parlor. The others weren't there yet. Harry wondered if they had even gotten out of the bookstore. Harry ordered two extra large chocolate milkshakes for himself and Ginny.  
  
"Oh Harry, you didn't have to," she said.  
  
"I know I didn't have to. I wanted to."  
  
Harry studied her. She had grown so much since her first year. She wasn't just his best friend's little sister anymore. She was a woman, a beautiful woman.  
  
She looked at him, too. His eyes were the most beautiful shade of green. He leaned over and kissed her. It was a quick, gentle, innocent peck, but it was a kiss all the same. Ginny was quite startled by this and quickly pulled back.  
  
"I'm sorry," said Harry.  
  
"No, don't be sorry, Harry. I was just a little surprised, that's all." Ginny said.  
  
Then, she did something even she herself didn't expect. She kissed him, but this time it was not so innocent. This time, Harry pulled back. "Ron and Hermione are coming," he said.  
  
Ron was quite right about Hermione. They both had large bags full of books in each hand.  
  
"A little help here," Ron said.  
  
"Are we ready to go back home?" Ginny asked.  
  
"Hell no!" Hermione said. "I've only just gotten out of the book shop, but I suppose we should go back in case Mrs. Weasley is wondering where we are, and I don't think that I can carry anything else."  
  
They then headed back to Grimmauld Place to enjoy Mrs. Weasley's excellent feast, with plans to return to Diagon Alley the next day.

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**Author's Note: I didn't mean to turn it into a romance, but it just sort of happened. This chapter is longer, but still not as long as I had hoped. It's easy for me to write, just hard to write a lot about one thing at one time. Maybe I should do one-shots instead. Thanks Lazy-anji and Nataliaah. Want to get thanked? Review! **


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